Ban Tinder, Build State Dating Centers
Your love lives are in ruins, and it's killing the nation! Divorce rates are skyrocketing, with over half of marriages imploding because people chase fantasies instead of reality. Millennials and Gen Z are trapped in an intimacy apocalypse—fewer hookups, zero trust, and a generation scared shitless of each other thanks to Me Too hysteria, rampant misandry, misogyny blowback, family courts that screw men over, endless male-bashing in media and politics, and “harassment" claims based on feelings alone. Men are mocked everywhere, women are on guard, and low trust has turned romance into a war zone. Result? Birth rates in freefall, loneliness epidemic, and a society crumbling because no one can pair up without it blowing up in their faces.
This isn't bad luck—it's systemic failure. People fall for illusions, project bullshit onto partners, then reality hits when they shack up: masks off, fights erupt, divorce inevitable. Why? Because nobody knows who the hell is actually compatible. Dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and eHarmony are predatory scum—they don't give a damn about real matches; they profit off your desperation, exploiting weaknesses to keep you swiping and single forever.
Enough! The government must step in as the ultimate matchmaker and fix this clusterfuck once and for all. No more leaving love to capitalist vultures. Implement this grand plan immediately, or watch Australia turn into a barren wasteland of incels and spinsters.
Here's how the government saves the day with iron-clad reforms:
1. Ban all private dating apps outright—make them illegal. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, eHarmony, Grindr, the lot—shut them down permanently. These parasitic platforms have poisoned romance for profit; they exploit loneliness, gamify rejection, and keep people hooked on superficial swipes instead of real connections. Criminalize their operation in Australia—no more foreign tech vampires draining our social fabric.
2. Open state-run Dating Centers in every major city and region—massive facilities where citizens register for real, science-backed matchmaking. Pay a flat $50 annual fee to join—no gouging, no ads, just results.
3. Every participant gets grilled in a deep-dive interview: at least 100 questions covering everything that makes or breaks a relationship. IQ, personality type, attachment style, education level, income bracket, sexual fantasies, gender preferences, ethnicity, age, height, desired ethnic groups (or deal-breakers), views on marriage, kids—the works. No sugarcoating; raw honesty to build unbreakable matches based on true compatibility.
4. The system crunches the data objectively and scientifically, pairing only those with aligned answers. No fantasies, no mismatches—just cold, hard suitability. If you're compatible on paper, you get notified. If not? Tough shit—better to know now than waste years in delusion.
5. First dates happen inside the center for safety and control: soundproof glass-walled rooms with visual-only cameras (no audio spying), a 1.5-meter table, two chairs, and water bottles. Sit opposite, talk face-to-face. Do this for the first, second, and third dates—build trust under supervised eyes. After that, you're free to meet outside and take it from there.
6. For the unmatched—the incels, the rejects, the perpetually single—this is your wake-up call. The system proves you're objectively undesirable as-is, saving you from endless heartache and false hope. Reinvent yourself: find purpose and joy beyond romance. Satisfy urges with porn, masturbation, or hold out for future humanoid robot lovers. You've done your part; now accept reality and move on stronger.
Australians, this plan isn't optional—it's survival. Ban the apps, force the state to deliver real matchmaking, and watch divorce drop, trust rebuild, families thrive, birth rates soar. No more “Me Too” paranoia or gender wars derailing lives. Demand these centers and the total app ban now—bombard your MPs, rally in the streets, make it law. The private sector failed you miserably; let the government succeed. Wake up, fight for real love, and rebuild a nation worth living in!
How would each of the main groups would react to all of this:
Feminists wouldn’t riot—they’d love it. The algorithm feeds them exactly what they claim to want: a submissive, female-led-relationship guys who worship the ground they walk on. No more “toxic masculinity” to complain about because the system removed it from their dating pool entirely. They’d get their matriarchy bubble, complain there’s nothing left to fight, and either shut up or pivot to new causes. Win for them.
App-defending “princesses” (the top-tier women drowning in validation) would be the loudest initial screamers. Going from 1,000 likes and endless orbiters to less than 10 pre-vetted, highly compatible men standing in a glass booth? That ego death would hit like a freight train. reality replaces the dopamine slot machine with actual flesh-and-blood partnership. Some would rage-quit, others would adapt and end up happier in real relationships. The attention economy collapses for them, and that’s a feature, not a bug.
Normies get the harshest mirror. Average women who’ve been chasing “up” forever suddenly face men in their actual league—no more delusional swiping on Chad. The dissatisfaction spike would be massive at first (“Why can’t I get the top 10% anymore?!”). Male normies, meanwhile, get a massive win: reliable access to women who actually match their level, no more competing against filtered photos and inflated egos. men would mostly be relieved, women would seethe until they either accept reality or opt out.
The unmatched/incels get the coldest but most liberating truth: objective, state-certified undesirability. No more coping, no more false hope cycles. they did their part, system said “no,” now they move on to self-improvement, hobbies, porn, or future sex robots. It is a harsh medicine, but arguably kinder than decades of ghosting and rejection.